In
and around Rome, the talk is of Pope Francis’ sage acceptance of the
21st century, of his empathy, of his departure from the stern moralizing
on matters of the heart that his predecessors engaged in.
In
Montana, a gay couple who have been together for more than three
decades have been told that they’re no longer really welcome in the
Catholic parish where they’ve been worshiping together for 11 years.
This
happened last month, in the town of Lewistown. By all accounts, these
two men, one of them 73, the other 66, had done no one any harm. They
hadn’t picked a fight. Hadn’t caused any particular stir. Simply went to
Mass, same as always. Prayed. Sang in the church choir, where they were
beloved mainstays.
There
was only this: In May of last year, without any fanfare, the men had
traveled to Seattle, where they had met and lived for many years, to get
married. And while they didn’t do anything after to publicize the civil
ceremony, word eventually leaked out.
So
in early August, a 27-year-old priest who had just begun working at the
parish summoned them to a meeting, according to local news reports. And
at that meeting, he told them that they could no longer be choir
members, perform any other roles like that or, for that matter, receive
communion.
If
they wanted those privileges restored, there was indeed a remedy, which
the priest and other church officials spelled out for them over
subsequent conversations. They would have to divorce. They would have to
stop living together. And they would have to sign a statement that
marriage exists only between a man and a woman.
Translation:
Renounce a love fortified over 30 years. Unravel your lives. And affirm
that you’re a lesser class of people, barred from the rituals in which
others blithely participate.
With those little tweaks, the body of Christ can again be yours.
In
one sense there’s nothing revelatory here. For all the changes afoot in
enlightened countries around the world, the church remains censorious
of same-sex marriage — fervently so, in many instances — and Catholic
teaching still forbids sexually intimate relationships between two men
or two women.
But
there are details to note, rue and reject. One is the hypocrisy (or
whatever you want to call it) of punishing a same-sex couple for
formalizing a relationship that was already obvious, as these men’s
partnership was.
Such punishment has befallen many employees of Catholic schools or congregations since the legalization of same-sex marriage in many states allowed them civil weddings. Teachers long known to be gay are suddenly exiled for being gay and
married, which is apparently too much commitment and accountability for
the church to abide. Honesty equals expulsion. “I do” means you’re
done.
I
reached the Montana couple, Tom Wojtowick and Paul Huff, on the phone
Tuesday, and Wojtowick expressed befuddlement. “We’re just two old men,”
he said, and their relationship was no secret. “We’re only 5,900 people
in this town, and Paul and I are really well known.”
