A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
You know it when you feel it but by then it’s usually too late. Anger can erupt suddenly or build slowly, but either way it’s a familiar emotion that feeds on itself, gaining strength and momentum the more we indulge or give in to it. In Buddhism, it’s one of the three poisons—along with greed and delusion—that keeps us mired in samsara, the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. According to eighth-century Indian Buddhist philosopher Shantideva, anger is never a good thing: neither useful nor justified.
In The Way of the Bodhisattva (Bodhicaryavatara), Shantideva famously says: “If there is a remedy, then what is the use of irritation? If there is no remedy, then what is the use of irritation?” (BCA 6.10, trans. V. Wallace and A. Wallace). Expanding on this, Shantideva and other Buddhist teachers advise examining the causes of anger to defuse it, in the moment if possible but also after the fact to help inform how we might respond in the future.
Importantly, anger takes many shapes—subtle or explosive—and has complex causes. Precise analysis can help us respond more effectively and cultivate compassion because, as scholar Allison Aitken says, parphrasing Shantideva, “whatever anger promises to do for us, compassion can do better.”
This week’s Three Teachings collects perspectives on and offers practical advice for dealing with anger, before, after, and when it arises.
Scholar Allison Aitken explains Shantideva’s view of anger and how he would argue that justice does not require, or benefit in any way, from this destructive emotion. She points out that although we may feel that divisiveness is at an all-time high, tribalism is nothing new. “Yet it is for this very reason that looking to the Buddhist text tradition on timeless problems such as destructive anger may offer valuable resources for healing contemporary divisions,” she says.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama reflects on his personal experience with anger and Shantideva’s teachings, concluding that the real problem lies within. “A person gripped by such states of mind and emotion is like a blind person, who cannot see where he is going,” he says.
Roshi Nancy Mujo Baker, a Zen teacher and professor, reiterates the importance of getting to know our anger in all its specificity, and reminds us not to judge ourselves. She then offers a practice that’s personal and precise.
Portrait of Mabel Dodge Luhan, 1927 by Nicolai Fechin,
1879 -
A true female aesthete, MABEL DODGE LUHAN, an American patron of the arts,was born (d: 1962); Dodge Luhan is particularly associated with the colony of artists who settled in Taos, New Mexico. Mabel Ganson Evans Dodge Sterne Luhan, to give her all her names, was married four times (the last time to an American Indian), had countless lovers, was enormously rich, and virtually originated the idea of “radical chic” by inviting to her salons in New Mexico, New York, and Italy the sort of people usually excluded from the guest lists of the rich — labor leaders, homosexuals, revolutionary artists, Bolsheviks, outré types like John Reed, Margaret Sanger, and D.H. Lawrence.
She was also aware of being a Lesbian and, more astonishingly still, wrote about it for the world to see in a memoir, Intimate Memories, published in 1933. In every way she was fifty years ahead of her time. Mabel Dodge Luhan died at her home in Taos in 1962 and was buried in Kit Carson Cemetery. The Mabel Dodge Luhan House has been designated a national historic landmark and is a historic inn and conference center. Natalie Goldberg frequently teaches at Mabel Dodge Luhan House, where Dennis Hopper wrote Easy Rider.
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Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute
"With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson
"The transformation doesn’t begin with the institution. We don’t organize to transform the universe. We don’t get a God squad together to do it. We start with the individual human heart. We start right here inside ourselves."
Interestingly, mindfulness meditation begins with the opposite approach to trying to be in the moment; it asks us to actually notice moment-to-moment change.
However the seed is planted, in that way the fruit is gathered. Good things come from doing good deeds, bad things come from doing bad deeds. (SN 11.10) What is the purpose of a mirror? For the purpose of reflection. So too verbal action is to be done with repeated reflection. (MN 61)
When you wish to do an action with speech, reflect upon that same verbal action thus: "Would this action I wish to do with speech lead to the affliction of another?" If, upon reflection, you know that it would, then do not do it; if you know that it would not, then proceed. (MN 61)
Reflection
Often a conversation is like a chess game, in which it is beneficial to be able to think a few moves ahead. Are you just expressing what is on your mind, or do you want to have the other person hear you so you can have an impact on what they are thinking? Considering the impact your words have on others is a skill that can be learned, and it increases the effectiveness of your speech. It is good to be aware of what you are saying.
Daily Practice
Try slowing down your speech pattern and taking that extra moment to pause and check in on your emotional and mental state before you respond. With what quality of mind will you speak the next words: annoyance? agitation? benevolence? equanimity? Normal speech patterns are often very rapid, not giving us much time for reflection, but being more reflective is an extremely valuable practice.
Tomorrow: Abstaining from Taking What is Not Given One week from today: Reflecting upon Mental Action
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
The beauty of the Buddhist path is that it makes room for all of life’s contradictions. It begins by acknowledging an underlying truth: Yes, there is suffering.
Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8)
When others address you, their speech may be connected with good or with harm … One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words; I shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)
Reflection
Malice is the desire to do harm, and when we look closely and honestly we may notice that much of what we say is laced with this intention. One text calls a dispute “stabbing one other with verbal daggers.” Here we are being encouraged to receive the wound without striking back. It is ultimately an expression of freedom from compulsion when you are able to say, “Others may speak maliciously, but I choose not to.”
Daily Practice
Not being provoked to malice by the malice of others is a difficult but important practice. Try to do this in small ways and gradually build up to more difficult situations. If someone slights you in some small way, practice noticing this, understanding it as an aggressive verbal act and then deliberately choosing to not be provoked by it into some form of retaliation. Do this again and again, and you will gradually get the hang of it.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIOis founded in the United States.
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Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute
"With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson
