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Tuesday, August 4, 2026
Via Daily Dharma: Your Own Self-Help
Via White Crane Institute //. Seeing with Different Eyes by Toby Johnson
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| This Day in Gay History | |||
August 04 | |||
Today's Gay Wisdom  2017 - From issue #51 of White Crane, Intention Seeing with Different Eyes by Toby Johnson One Saturday afternoon [in 1978] Toby Marotta and I were waiting for a bus at the corner of Castro and 18th, in the heart of San Francisco's best-known Gay neighborhood. All around us were men intentionally projecting themselves sexually. It was a warm day for San Francisco and many had taken the excuse to discard unnecessary clothing. Guys wearing only cut-off jeans, some with skimpy T-shirts or tank-tops, many bare-chested, were walking or leaning suggestively against lamp posts or buildings. They searched each passerby suggestively, invitingly. This blatant sexuality upset me. While as a counter-culturalist I considered myself liberated, I had very strong notions, many of them learned from the feminists I worked with at the Tenderloin Community Mental Health Clinic, about what kinds of behavior were "politically correct." I had notions developed during my experience as a monk about what kinds of behavior were "spiritually pure." And I had notions deriving simply from my own sexual sensibilities. Perhaps because of my political and religious background, I'd come to feel "superior" to people who seemed to me too concerned with their bodies. Like most such feelings of superiority, I suppose, these were really just compensations for feelings of inadequacy. I've suffered from what might be called the "Woody Allen complex." I've wanted to look like a Robert Redford and to have people desire me for my masculine beauty. But the fact is that I don't look like Redford and do look more like Allen--or like Saint John of the Cross (I could never shake my monkishness). I have been more respected for my intelligence than desired for my beauty. I resented the sexual prowess and obvious good looks of the men walking along Castro Street. These were the homosexuals, I thought, who were supposed to be effete sissies, but here they were, almost all handsome, manly, and vital. Some of them put Robert Redford in the class with Woody and me. Yet for all their good looks, I did not see them as happy. As I stood on the corner, I watched the men avoiding eye contact as they passed one another. They glanced furtively, looking away quickly when someone appeared to look back at them. They seemed almost afraid of being caught in the act of cruising. I recalled reports I had heard from clients at the Clinic of how they'd felt rejected and put down as they cruised Castro Street. I recalled their stories of the futile hunt for "Mr. Right," the fantasy lover. I recalled their acknowledgment of how such fantasies, based on particular kinds of sexual attractiveness or physical appearance, seemed to keep them imprisoned in only the most superficial assessments of people. I thought about the myths of karma. I saw these men trapped in webs of their own unwitting design, rejecting and so being rejected because they were looking for a fantasy ideal that just didn't exist, looking for someone attractive and sexy yet missing out because, hoping for some ideal still more attractive and more sexy to come along, they passed up real opportunities. I recalled my own experiences of walking down Castro Street and feeling invisible, unable to make civil eye contact with other walkers. I recalled the fears that I'd woven for myself a karmic web from which I could never escape. And I thought that the solution-what I often told my clients might bring them some relief-was to cut right through the karma by fleeing from this place. I was feeling disgusted with all the impersonal sexuality I saw around me, yet struggling to feel compassion for the suffering homosexuals hiding behind their masks of pretended glamour. I remarked to Toby that if we could have some influence in the world, how wonderful and merciful it would be to free these suffering homosexuals from their imprisonment in the sexual ghetto. Toby looked at me quizzically. "What suffering homosexuals?" he asked. I described my perceptions of the surging crowd moving up and down Castro under the bright afternoon sun. Toby said he didn't perceive things that way at all. What he saw were liberated Gay men, enjoying the sunny day, reveling in their sexuality, delighting in the beauty of their own and others' bodies, showing off to one another, sharing their delight, and exulting in their liberation. "But what about all the sexual rejection and internalized self-hate?" I objected. "That's the whole point," Toby replied. "These men are free from fear and self-loathing. They're not suffering queens and oppressed faggots. They're being natural and open in the styles the subculture has developed. They're behaving just like everybody else walking on a public street, acknowledging friends and acquaintances, noticing an attractive face now and then, but being pretty oblivious to the passing stream. Most of them aren't feeling sexual rejection because they're not out hunting sex. They're on their way to the supermarket or the drugstore. "Of course, most of them are aware of the sexual tension in the air; they enjoy it; that's partly why they're out here today. Some of them are cruising for sex, especially the ones in the bars," he allowed. "But even then they're doing that because they enjoy the game; it's a sport, a way to spend a lazy afternoon. It's not all that serious to them." Suddenly I felt in myself an odd change of consciousness. Just as switching the lights from a dim and cold blue to a bright and sunny amber can abruptly change the mood on a stage, so in my mind a filter switched. I saw what Toby was seeing and everything was different. Instead of a repressed demimonde, full of desperate, suffering, compulsively sexual homosexuals, I felt surrounded by Gay community, full of natural, happy, liberated Gay men. Instead of karma, liberation. I was astonished by how differently I experienced the world around me and how differently I experienced myself standing on that street corner. "Why do you think they're desperate?" Toby asked, breaking into my astonishment. I started to explain, but stopped myself, not wanting to spoil my vision. "Well, I don't know; your explanation of it all is much more appealing than mine. Toby began explaining the liberationist politics to which he attributed the emergence of vital Gay neighborhoods like the Castro. I listened half attentively, half noticing that the bus we wanted was coming, and half questioning what my sudden change of consciousness signified. As we got settled on the bus, I was still feeling dismayed. We both fell silent as the bus motor, revving to carry us up the hill, drowned out our conversation. I was thinking about Toby's question. I saw the men on the street as desperate because that jibed with my own experience and the report of more than one person I'd talked to in and out of the Clinic. I wasn't only projecting my own prejudices or neurotic conflicts onto the scene. But Toby's version wasn't wrong either. Strangely, both perceptions were true. Both realities were present together, superimposed on one another. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One man's meat is another man's poison," I thought tritely. I recalled the Buddhist saying that the unenlightened live in an unenlightened world, the bodhisattvas live in a bodhisattva world, buddhas live in a buddha world. The bus crested the hill and started down the other side. The motor groaned as the clutch engaged to slow us down for the steep descent. After a couple of stops it was time to transfer to another bus. I began to explain to Toby, after we'd alighted, how the universe must be very amorphous, never fixed or solid, how it must be that both my clients' reports and his description were equally true. Toby did acknowledge that there were people in the Castro who were suffering and who did feel the burden of years of homophobic indoctrination and who spread their unhappiness to others. But he wouldn't agree with me that the truth was so arbitrary. He insisted that he could scientifically document his perception. In fact, he said, he was beginning to through his research He did allow, however, that metaphysically my point might be valid, and that as a therapist it was logical for me to focus on the experience of those needing help. It became clear to me that my goal in therapy should be to change the clients' perceptions so that what looked to them like a world of misery became instead a world of happiness. Obviously, when people perceive the world as desperate, hostile, unfulfilling, and sick, they tend to act out those qualities and to create around them that kind of world, for themselves and for others. The conversation continued all through dinner. By the time he left for home, Toby and I had agreed that the way to change things was to see the world with different eyes so that instead of vulgar and threatening it appeared benign and supportive. From In Search of God in the Sexual Underworld: A Mystical Journey (Morrow, 1983) by Edwin Clark Johnson. | ||
|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8 Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute "With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson Exploring Gay Wisdom & Culture since 1989! |8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8 |
Via GBF/// "The Practice of Unselfish Joy" with Melvin Escobar
Please enjoy this new dharma talk, added to the GBF website and podcast:
Melvin Escobar helps us discover how we can tap into a source of happiness that doesn't depend on our personal wins, but actually grows the more others succeed.
Here he explores the concept of mudita—often translated as unselfish or appreciative joy. He dives into how this practice, one of the four "divine abodes" or Brahma-viharas, helps us break out of the Western individualistic trap and realize that our happiness is deeply interconnected with everyone else's.
Melvin reminds us that even when we feel stuck in aversion or judge ourselves for "not doing it right," those very feelings are actually the path to joy; by noticing what we are reflexively pushing away, we create the space for a more authentic, humanized connection to the world around us.
He guides us through several ways we can cultivate this "immeasurable" joy in our daily lives, moving beyond the idea of it being a separate, lofty goal:
- The Path of Purification: We learn that mudita is often found right in the middle of our aversion. Instead of fighting our negative thoughts, we can see them simply as "sensations" and use that awareness to melt the "stone" of indifference.
- Integrating Our Life Stages: We reflect on how our capacity for joy evolves from the "bundle of joy" we were as infants, through the traumas of adolescence, and into a more "distilled" version of ourselves as we age and learn to laugh at our own forgetfulness.
- Sati (Remembering): We practice the intention of "remembering" our Buddha nature and the path, realizing that once we’ve seen the truth of interdependence, we can never truly "unsee" it.
- The "Buddha Smile": We are invited to try a physical practice—the slight upward turn of the lips—that helps us stay present and serious about our spiritual work without losing our sense of lightness.
- Service as Joy: We see that humanizing each other is an act of joy, and through service, the separation between "who is serving who" begins to dissolve.
By practicing mudita, we find the "safety valve" that allows us to experience the world's beauty and suffering without crumbling under the weight of it all.
Enjoy 900+ free recorded dharma talks at https://gaybuddhist.org/
Monday, August 3, 2026
Via Daily Dharma: Cultivating Metta
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Sunday, August 2, 2026
Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation /// Words of Wisdom - August 2, 2026 🌞
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Via GBF /// "The Bard and the Buddha: Finding Your Refuge in the World of Shakespeare" with Matthew Perifano
| Sat, Aug 1, 10:57 PM (20 hours ago) | |||
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A new dharma talk, from our very own Matthew Perifano, has been added to the GBF website and podcast.
The Bard and the Buddha: Finding Refuge in the World of Shakespeare - Matthew Perifano
In this moving and lyrical talk, Matthew Perifano shares how he found a sense of true refuge when facing deep grief and the uncertainty of life.
Matthew shares how he began weaving together the wisdom of the Dharma with the timeless plays and sonnets of William Shakespeare. He describes how his relationship with these texts evolved from a daunting college requirement into a vital mind-body practice that eventually helped him navigate the devastating losses of the AIDS epidemic. He suggests that when we lend our own voices and bodies to these words, we can discover that we are never alone in our suffering, finding a profound sense of compassion—or karuna—that transcends time and space.
Matthew illustrates how the insights of the Buddha are often hiding in plain sight within the Bard's greatest works, offering we several "Shakespeare Dharma" keys to unlock our own understanding of reality:
- Finding Refuge in Grief: He explains how Sonnet 30 helped him move through personal loss by revealing that our "precious friends hid in death’s dateless night" connect us to a universal experience of suffering, turning art into a path through pain rather than just an escape from it.
- Presence in the Ordinary: Drawing from his own "transcendent experience" while washing dishes and the poetry of Layman Pang, he reminds we that spiritual activity is found in the most basic daily affairs, like drawing water or carrying wood.
- The Trap of Papancha: He uses the jealous rants of King Leantes from The Winter's Tale to demonstrate papancha, or mental proliferation—the tendency of our minds to spin "nothing" into a suffocating storm of obsessive, illusory thoughts.
- Life as a Dream: He concludes with Prospero’s famous speech from The Tempest, which he calls "Shakespeare’s Diamond Sutra," to help we contemplate how all conditioned things are essentially "such stuff as dreams are made on".
Enjoy 900+ free recorded dharma talks at https://gaybuddhist.org/
Via Daily Dharma: Always Hope
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Saturday, August 1, 2026
Via Daily Dharma: The Gift of Death
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