A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
"I’m outraged that there are currently major candidates for President of the United States who are using homophobia to rally their base. I’m pissed off at my Republican family back in North Carolina, several of whom came to my wedding, but who went right back and are voting for homophobes and acting like it doesn’t matter. It does matter and it’s time for the queers in this country to start saying so to their families. I think we’ve all cut them too much slack for far too long." - Armistead Maupin, speaking to Britain's Pink News.
Because of the recent furor over the Girl Scouts' inclusive membership policy, an anti-gay alternative called the American Heritage Girls is seeing an explosion in membership.
The group started with 100 girls in Ohio, and in recent weeks has surpassed 18,000 members in 45 states and six countries. Nine groups with a total of 357 girls meet in the St. Louis area; there were five local groups at this time last year. They are based at private schools and churches in Jefferson, St. Charles and St. Louis counties. Founder Patti Garibay, who had been a longtime Girl Scout leader for her daughters, wanted a choice. "We are faith-based, and they are secular, and that's a change," she said. "We're not for everybody, but we're obviously for a lot of people." Garibay estimates that 90 percent of Heritage members have left the Girl Scouts. Shanna Stewart, who home-schools her two daughters in Wentzville, found American Heritage Girls after becoming concerned when she learned the Girl Scouts had invited a lesbian to speak at the national level. "They were encouraging girls to embrace whoever they were; it didn't matter what choices they made, as long as they were true to themselves. That was a concern."
Like the Boy Scouts, the American Heritage Girls ban atheists and gays from becoming members or leaders.
The key to maintaining your inspiration in the day-to-day work of meditation practice is to approach it as play—a happy opportunity to master practical skills, to raise questions, experiment, and explore.
I remember how excited people were about Elizabeth Birch being hired to run the Human Rights Campaign back in 1995 - the worldwide director of litigation for Apple computers coming to run America's largest gay rights group, wow. I met Elizabeth for the first time right after she took the HRC job. She held a meet-and-greet on the House side of the Hill, and like many of us who have a legal education, myself included, you wouldn't be surprised on meeting Elizabeth to discover that she's a lawyer. ;-) She's quite smart, has a quick mind, and a no-bs attitude towards things. At the time, she brought a new level of expertise to the gay rights movement that I don't recall seeing before.
I asked Elizabeth if she'd be interested in penning a guest post for AMERICAblog Gay since she was mentioned a few days ago in another post on this blog written by Heather Cronk of GetEQUAL, discussing the recent $1.4m Obama re-election fundraiser she attended at the home of a lesbian couple in Washington, DC. Elizabeth graciously accepted.
Elizabeth Birch is General Partner of True Blue Inclusion.
________________
A Dinner
by Elizabeth Birch
I have known I was gay since I was a little kid. I am a US-born, and Canadian bred, lesbian. I have been out since 1975. I have been out in every setting since I left home in my mid-teens.
I ran off with my first young girlfriend to Hawaii, supported myself, put myself through undergraduate and law schools, and I have done everything in my power over the course of my life to translate my experience as a gay person in whatever setting I have found myself in -- whether that was working in the carnival, food joints and other survival jobs, eventually a law firm, a high tech firm (Apple) or on Capital Hill. It has been true for every place I have lived in or visited both here and around the globe. I came from a modest beginning and ventured out into the world with very little. But I was always intimately aware that I was gay -- and that was a source of strength and distinction.
So what is the greatest and worst thing about our community these days? First, the greatest is that we are alive at this time of history. We are alive at a great awakening where in some parts of the globe, there is a growing understanding that LGBT people exist, are part of every community and should be accepted. At times it begins in the culture and at times it begins with policy and law -- it's slow and hard, but mostly humanity seems to plod forward.
What is the worst part? It is the shooting gallery that sometimes marks our discourse. I attended a dinner, as the guest of Andy Tobias, with President Obama last week. I had many dealings with both the Clinton and Bush Administrations over the years. The overwhelming point I made when I came away from that meal was the same point I have been making for a couple of years: that is, President Obama has done the nearly impossible. He actually broke through the long, hard, toxic wall commonly known as the U.S. Congress. The U.S. Congress is designed to stop things from happening. Then add "LGBT" to anything, and multiply that difficulty by ten. There are a myriad of ways to bottle, burn, strip out and generally mutilate any idea, initiative, or dream. Congress is the dream killer. I once told Senator Kennedy that I thought of Congress as watching people play chess under water in a toxic swamp. It is remarkable that anything ever becomes law.
When I moved to Washington to head up HRC, I arrogantly thought I could bring fresh energy and Silicon Valley smarts, and we would bust through Congress in no time. That was 1995. ENDA is still a bill floating around Congress. But this young President has delivered something essential and remarkable. He has actually broken through -- first with a small hole (the Hate Crime bill) and then with a cannonball (DADT). He does not do it with fanfare or demand approval or take victory laps. He just does it. You cannot speed him up or slow him down. He works through each issue, expends the political capital necessary, twists the arms that need twisting, he leads -- and he gets it done. I know because I witnessed it from Pentagon where I worked quietly with clients on DADT for a couple of years leading up to certification.
So, it is remarkable that we get to be the beneficiaries of these vitally important new holes that have opened in a very old wall. And, if one can break through the industrial military complex, as our President has done, so much more seems inevitable.
What is the worst part of our time? It is not the debating or the pushing or the demanding of higher standards and principles. That is the job of our community and it is all good and important. No, the worst part is that we think it is okay to engage in incomplete discourse. I went to dinner. That's all. No one called to have a solid conversation about my thoughts -- a real discussion about anything.
I went because I deeply respect this President. Maybe it's the kid that ran off to Hawaii to survive. Or maybe it is the kid that came from Hawaii to be President. I don't know what anyone else owes President Obama. But I owe him my gratitude for actually leading a nation that finally includes LGBT people in its federal law. He is a leader. I think we need to nurture leadership and, as gay people, we should recognize that the greatest attribute is not necessarily "tough skin." We should work harder to not thicken it in one another.
I am going to work as hard as I can to reelect this President. I will leave the shooting galleries to others.
"If we can manage to refrain from harming others in our everyday actions and words, we can start to give more serious attention to actively doing good, and this can be a source of great joy and inner confidence. We can benefit others through our actions by being warm and generous toward them, by being charitable, and by helping those in need."- His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
The bill had to survive the usual bullshit poison pill amendments from the GOP, including one that would require parental consent before teachers could mention "non-traditional" families. The full chamber will debate and vote later this week. And if you're counting, that's THREE big honking wins for the good guys this week. And it's only Tuesday.
The Empire State Building only permits wedding ceremonies on Valentine's Day. For the first time ever, two of today's four sky-high couples were gay. Shawn Klein and Phil Fung, pictured above, met 18 years ago at the famed Roxy nightclub. Hit the link for more photos and a video.
Acting on the orders of Minister for Ethics & Integrity Simon Lokodo (left), the Ugandan government has raided and shut down a secretly organized conference on LGBT rights.
The two week conference organised by Freedom and Roam Uganda, an association that lobbies for the recognition of same sex relationships in Uganda ended prematurely when the minister ordered them to disperse. "I have closed this conference because it's illegal. We do not accept homosexuality in Uganda. So go back home," Minister Lokodo told the participants. Hotel staff had been asked by the organisers not to direct anyone to Elgon hall where the conference was taking place unless the person had been cleared. This would have required a phone call from the organisers. The Minister said the hotel’s management apologized for hosting the event.
Minister Lokodo ordered the arrest of the conference organizer, but according to the above-linked news story, she escaped. That conflicts with another account reported by Box Turtle Bulletin, which states that the organizer was apprehended, but later released. Lokodo is a former Catholic priest who was defrocked last August when he disobeyed Vatican orders to drop his pursuit of a political office.
IMPORTANT: Box Turtle Bulletin's Jim Burroway notes that contrary to Lokodo's statements to the press, Uganda's "kill the gays" bill is still very much on the table. The genesis of that bill came during visits to Uganda by American evangelicals such as Scott Lively.
As we become more inwardly free from our conditioning and our fears, the love and connection that are possible in relationships tend to flow through us more naturally. As our defenses are lowered, our heart opens, and there is a natural desire to give from the generosity of the heart. We discover that genuine happiness in relationships is not a product of having our expectations met or getting what we want but rather it is the consequence of freely giving in order to bring happiness to another.
Both sides in the legal fight over the constitutionality of California’s Proposition 8 expect the matter to eventually be settled by the U.S. Supreme Court. If the court decides to take the Prop 8 case, Justice Anthony Kennedy could be the swing vote in a close decision. Until then, a stay of the appellate court decision remains in place, meaning same-sex couples will not be able to marry in California for the time being, though attorneys will fight to lift the stay. “There's no reason that people ought to be deprived of their constitutional rights now that those rights have been affirmed by the court of appeals,” said David Boies, who’s arguing the case on the side of marriage equality supporters.
A bipartisan vote in the Washington State House this week sent a marriage equality bill to the desk of Gov. Christine Gregoire, who is expected to sign it into law Monday. The law could become effective in June unless opponents can gather the signatures necessary to force the issue onto a statewide ballot. The final House debate featured testimony from openly gay lawmakers including Rep. Jamie Pedersen, who told his colleagues "I would like our four children to understand...that their daddy and their papa have made that lifelong commitment to each other."
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 12, 2012
Inhabit Your Body
As we inhabit our body with increasing sensitivity, we learn its unspoken language and patterns, which gives us tremendous freedom to make choices. The practice of cutting thoughts and dispersing negative repetitive patterns can be simplified by attending to the patterns in the body first, before they begin to be spun around in the mind.
If there’s one lesson that runs through pretty much every Buddhist tradition, it’s this: there are no magic solutions. Our belief in magic solutions that may happen some day in the future keeps us from doing what we really need to do right here and right now.
The moment when we found out Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. 9th District Court of Appeals on the steps of the court house in San Francisco, February 7, 2012.
The speech was given by Kelly Rivera Hart during a celebration rally that evening at the San Francisco LGBT Center.
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. (Applause.) Thank you, Laura, for the wonderful introduction -- the best introduction that a Cubs fan has ever given me. (Laughter.) The rivalry is fierce in Chicago, but I'll make an exception here.
And I want to thank Karen and Nan for opening up their incredible home. (Applause.) To all of you, and to everybody who helped put this together, thank you so much. I am very grateful.
I’m going to be very brief at the top, because I want to -- usually in these things I like to spend most of my time in a conversation. I do want to acknowledge that I have as good a Cabinet as I think any President in modern history has had. And one of the stars of that Cabinet is sitting right here, Kathleen Sebelius. (Applause.)
All of America has gone through an incredibly difficult, wrenching time these last three years. And it doesn’t matter whether you are black or white, whether you are Northern or Southern, rich or poor, gay or straight; I think all of us have been deeply concerned over these last three years to making sure that our economy recovers, that we're putting people back to work, that we stabilize the financial system. The amount of hardship and challenge that ordinary families have gone through over the last three years has been incredible. And there are still a lot of folks hurting out there.
The good news is that we're moving in the right direction. And when I came into office, we were losing 750,000 jobs a month, and this past month we gained 250,000 -- that’s a million job swing. (Applause.) And for the last 23 months, we've now created 3.7 million jobs. And that’s more than any time since 2000 -- or, yes, since, 2005 -- the number of jobs that we created last year, and more manufacturing jobs than any time since the 1990s.
So we're making progress on that front now, but we've still got a long way to go. Today, we announced a housing settlement, brought about by our Attorney General and states attorneys all across the country. And as a consequence, we're going to see billions of dollars in loan modifications and help to folks who are seeing their homes underwater. And that’s going to have a huge impact.
In my State of the Union, we talked about the need for American manufacturing -- companies coming back, insourcing, and recognizing how incredibly productive American workers are; and our need to continue to double down on investments in clean energy; and making sure that our kids are getting trained so that they are competing with any workers in the world, and are also effectively equipped to be great citizens and to understand the world around them.
And we talked about the fact that we've got to have the same set of values of fair play and responsibility for everybody -- whether it's Wall Street or Main Street. It means that we have a Consumer Finance Protection Board that is enforcing rules that make sure that nobody is getting abused by predatory lending or credit card scams. It means that we have regulations in place that protect our air and our water.
And it also means that we ensure that everybody in our society has a fair shot, is treated fairly. That’s at the heart of the American Dream. For all the other stuff going on, one thing every American understands is you should be treated fairly; you should be judged on the merits. If you work hard, if you do a good job, if you're responsible in your community, if you're looking after you family, if you're caring for other people, then that’s how you should be judged. Not by what you look like, not by how you worship, not by where you come from, not by who you love.
And so the work that we've done with respect to the LGBT community I think is just profoundly American and is at the heart of who we are. (Applause.) And that’s why I could not be prouder of the track record that we've done, starting with the very beginning when we started to change, through executive order, some of the federal policies. Kathleen -- the work that she did making sure that hospital visitation was applied equally to same-sex couples, just like with anybody else's loved ones. The changes we made at the State Department. The changes we made in terms of our own personnel policies. But also some very high-profile work, like "don't ask, don't tell."
And what's been striking over the course of these last three years is because we've rooted this work in this concept of fairness, and we haven't gone out of our way to grab credit for it, we haven't gone out of our way to call other folks names if they didn’t always agree with us on stuff, but we just kept plodding along -- because of that, in some ways what's been remarkable is how readily the public recognizes this is the right thing to do.
Think about -- just take "don't ask, don't tell" as an example. The perception was somehow that this would be this huge, ugly issue. But because we did it methodically, because we brought the Pentagon in, because we got some very heroic support from people like Bob Gates and Mike Mullen, and they thought through institutionally how to do it effectively -- since it happened, nothing's happened. (Laughter and applause.) Nothing's happened.
We still have the best military by far on Earth. There hasn’t been any notion of erosion and unit cohesion. It turns out that people just want to know, are you a good soldier, are you a good sailor, are you a good airman, are you a good Marine, good Coast Guardsman. That's what they're concerned about. Do you do your job? Do you do your job well?
It was striking -- when I was in Hawaii, there is a Marine base close to where we stay. Probably the nicest piece of real estate I think the Marines have. (Laughter.) It is very nice. And they have this great gym, and you go in there, you work out, and you always feel really inadequate because they're really in good shape, all these people. (Laughter.) They're lifting 100-pound dumb bells and all this stuff. At least three times that I was at that gym, people came up, very quietly, to say, you know what, thank you for ending "don't ask, don't tell."
Now, here's the thing. I didn’t even know whether they were gay or lesbian. I didn’t ask -- because that wasn’t the point. The point was these were outstanding Marines who appreciated the fact that everybody was going to be treated fairly.
We're going to have more work to do on this issue, as is true on a lot of other issues. There's still areas where fairness is not the rule. And we're going to have to keep on pushing in the same way -- persistently, politely, listening to folks who don’t always agree with us, but sticking to our guns in terms of what our values are all about. What American values are all about.
And that's going to be true on the issues that are of importance to the LGBT community specifically, but it's also going to be true on a host of other issues where we're just going to have to make persistent steady progress. Whether it is having an energy policy that works for America; whether it is having an immigration policy that is rational so that we are actually both a nation of laws and a nation of immigrants; whether it's making sure that as we get our fiscal house in order we do it in a balanced way where everybody is doing their fair share to help close this deficit. It's not just being done on the backs of people who don't have enough political clout on Capitol Hill, but it's broadly applied and everybody is doing their fair share.
On all these issues, my view is that if we go back to first principles and we ask ourselves, what does it mean for us as Americans to live in a society where everybody has a fair shot, everybody is doing their fair share, we're playing by a fair set of rules, everybody is engaging in fair play -- then we're going to keep on making progress.
And that's where I think the American people are at. It doesn’t mean this is going to be smooth. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t going to be bumps in the road. It's not always good politics -- sometimes it's not. But over the long term, the trajectory of who we are as a nation, I believe that's our national character. We trend towards fairness and treating people well. And as long as we keep that in mind, I think we should be optimistic not just about the next election, but about the future of this country.
With all due respect to the governor (and today's victory WAS really her doing), that "civil, respectful debate" included many grotesqueries like quotes from Leviticus (abomination!) and all the other insulting Christianist arguments that characterize gay people as less than fully human. But fuck all that noise, really, because WE WON.
Oklahoma state Rep. Constance Johnson (D) tried to sink an anti-abortion "personhood" bill with the above amendment. We bow and giggle at the same time.
A few years ago, national Democrats would have woken up dreading this day. Just as the Presidential campaign really gets going, judges from the 9th Circuit—the circuit conservatives love to hate—overturn the will of the voters of California and declare a ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional? They might as well have wrapped their opinion in a bow and sent it to Karl Rove as an early Christmas present.
But that was then. And this is now, a time when even a major decision like the one that a three-judge panel handed down Tuesday is unlikely to have a major impact on the election. If anything, the political effect of this decision may be limited to showing that the days when same-sex marriage made an effective wedge issue for Republicans are over.
As you walk, cultivate a sense of ease. There’s no hurry to get anywhere, no destination to reach. You’re just walking. This is a good instruction: just walk. As you walk, as you let go of the desire to get somewhere, you begin to sense the joy in simply walking, in being in the present moment. You begin to comprehend the preciousness of each step. It’s an extraordinarily precious experience to walk on this earth.
We train the mind to see things as they happen, neither before nor after. And we don’t cling to the past, the future, or even to the present. We participate in what is happening and at the same time observe it without clinging to the events of the past, the future, or the present. We experience our ego or self arising, dissolving, and evaporating without leaving a trace of it. We see how our greed, anger, and ignorance vanish as we see the reality in life.
"Today, unelected judges cast aside the will of the people of California who voted to protect traditional marriage. This decision does not end this fight, and I expect it to go to the Supreme Court. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and, as president, I will protect traditional marriage and appoint judges who interpret the Constitution as it is written and not according to their own politics and prejudices." - Mitt Romney. (Via Igor Volsky @ Think Progress)
With the histori: c decision by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals today, Prop 8 looks to be dismantled. There is still a stay in place on gay marriage while this moves up the chain further, but the limited scope of the case may keep the Supreme Court from taking up the issue.
The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Prop 8 was unconstitutional today because “the people of California may not, consistent with the federal Constitution, add to their state constitution a provision that has no more practical effect than to strip gays and lesbians of the right to use the official designation that the state and society give to committed relationships, thereby adversely affecting the status and dignity of the members of a disfavored class.”
This case was about the voters taking away the rights of a minority, not about the right to marriage equality in general. While this is a huge win for the people of California (and potentially Washington), this case will probably not have any bearing on the rest of the country. Because of this, the Supreme Court may decide that this case is not worth hearing. Since this case only affects California for now, the Supreme Court may pass on this, which is good for the citizens of California.
A federal appeals court today ruled California's same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional, upholding a federal judge's landmark ruling in a case likely destined for the U.S. Supreme Court.
Today’s decision by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals stands as a victory for the fundamental American principle that all people are equal, and deserve equalrights and treatment under the law. This is the biggest step that theAmerican judicial system has taken to end the grievous discrimination against men and women in same-sex relationships and should be highly praised. "Proposition 8 has done nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that same-sex couples are inferior to heterosexual couples. These men and women are our firefighters, our paramedics, our law enforcement, our service-members, and to treat their relationships differently is unfair, unlawful, and violates the basic principle of who we are as a nation.
Mayors For Freedom
As Mayors for the Freedom to Marry, we know how important marriage is to our neighborhoods, our cities, and our nation. When committed couples are able to pledge their love to one another and share in the responsibilities and protections of marriage, our communities flourish and our cities are more competitive. Today’s decision by the 9th Circuit reaffirms that the American Dream is possible for everyone and brings us one step closer to ending marriage discrimination once and for all. We look forward to a day when all of our citizens will be able to share fairly and equally in the freedom to marry
Freedom To Marry
This monumental appellate decision restores California to the growing list of states and countries that have ended exclusion from marriage, and will further accelerate the surging nationwide majority for marriage. As this and other important challenges to marriage discrimination move through the courts around the country, Freedom to Marry calls on all Americans to join us in ensuring that together we make as strong a case in the court of public opinion as our legal advocates are making in the courts of law. By growing the majority for marriage, winning more states, and tackling federal discrimination – Freedom to Marry’s ‘Roadmap to Victory’ – we maximize our chances of winning when one case or another finally reaches the U.S. Supreme Court.”
More reactions will be added here as they come in....
Although we are not often taught this, the most skillful way through an impasse in meditation is to become aware of it and of what holds it together and keeps it running. To do this, you need to keep doing the meditation instructions that have gotten you to this point, but instead of following them “harder,” try approaching them in a softer, gentler manner. Do them loosely, and don’t do them all of the time.
Sometimes we're too sensitive. But I'm not buying that this is one of those times. The best homophobes skirt the line expertly. It doesn't change that what they're doing is wrong. I wrote in my other post, linked above, that perhaps it's subtle, the homophobia surrounding mocking men who wear pink or men react positively to homoerotic ad. One of our readers, Soullite, had a great response in the comments:
I don't think it's that subtle, really. Back in my more homophobic tween years, me and most of my friends would have decked anyone who said this to us [meaning, if they made fun of them for wearing pink etc], because we'd know damn well what they were saying. If a 12 year old would know it, I'm not buying that a grown man wouldn't know that this guy is basically pointing and screaming 'fag!'
I think the big problem here is we let grown ups hide behind a smile and a fake-ass attitude of 'what, me?' We all pretend not to notice what's really going on out of some misguided politeness or a fear of calling these bastards out. But really, this sh*t isn't too subtle and there ain't a man over 10 who doesn't know what's going on here.
Rallies will be held in San Francisco and Los Angeles tomorrow after the Ninth Circuit Court issues its ruling on Proposition 8. Nothing in my inbox about NYC so far, but check back here later. Hit the links for Facebook event pages.
The long anticipated ruling is expected to address three issues: (1) whether former U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker should have recused himself from hearing the case because he is gay and had a long-time partner with whom he was not married; (2) whether the proponents of Proposition 8 have the right to appeal Walker's decision striking down Proposition 8 as unconstitutional when none of the state defendants chose to do so; and (3) whether, if Walker did not need to recuse himself and the proponents do have the right to appeal, Walker was correct that Proposition 8 violates Californians' due process and equal protection rights guaranteed in the U.S. Constitution.
Mental noting takes us in a very different direction from getting lost in a story: “Oh, this anger is so miserable; I am such a terrible person because I’m always angry; this is just how I will always be,” and so on. Instead, we simply say to ourselves, “anger, anger”—and cut through all of that elaboration, the story, the judgment, the interpretation.
The true meaning of life
We are visitors on this planet,
we are here for ninety or one hundred years at the very most.
During this period,we must try to do something good, something useful with our lives.
If you contribute to other people’s happiness,
you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life.
02.03.2012 Ouro Preto – MG - Brasil Amigos – How I wish I could be with you all, but alas… First of all let me begin this rant, by saying how proud I am of all of you, and how much your friendship, mostly via the internet means to me. Laugh, cry, hug, and pray… light a fire this weekend! In September of 1993, I met with a number of Gay and Lesbian Baha’is in Reno, Nevada. When it was over, we had drafted a letter to the National Spiritual Assembly, which they refused to answer. After that meeting I worked alongside other members of the Gay Baha’i Fellowship (GBF) in helping a number of GLBT Baha’is thru their crisis, and even went to so far as to work with Continental Counselor Stephen Birkland at a very powerful reconciliation weekend in Denver sponsored by the LSA of Denver. It was soon after that when Counselor Birkland called me to warn me of a letter from the Universal House of Justice, demanding that we disband. I quickly contacted the rest of the authors and GBF members and we all decided to “abide by their wishes in instant and exact obedience”. Soon after I resigned from the Faith, as it was obvious that my LSA was planning on something, and that my very presence, inactive as I was, was a cause for disunity. But I was missing something. About that time, a pair of neo-Nazi brothers from far Northern California, murdered a gay couple in their ranch home and then drove to Sacramento and set fire to three synagogues. The next day thousands people met in tears with candles in front of the State Capitol Building. On the very spot that Abdul-Baha himself walked and prophesied, religious leaders spoke, without a peep from the Baha’is, if they were there at all. I was soon asked to be part of a unity committee set up by the Rabbi of one of the synagogues and the School District Superintendent of our son’s school district. I accepted and was welcomed as an open gay Baha’i university professor. When we went through our workshop process, we found that we represented a diverse group of people from numerous religions, genders, races. Many of you know my story when the Rabbi called me one day to ask me about my thoughts about whether he should officiate at a wedding of two lesbians in his synagogue, I asked him, “Rabbi what is better a Jewish Lesbian or a non-Jewish lesbian?” (Rabbi Bloom went on to perform the wedding for the couple). Along came 9/11 and I felt very, very alone, away from any spiritual community, so I asked to be reenrolled, a meeting was made with an assistant to the auxiliary board where questions were asked, I was assured that I was welcome, an anonymous person called me one day at work from the National Center and asked me if, and these were her exact words, “can you abide by the Baha’i laws?” I told her would to the “best of my abilities”. She welcomed me back into the Faith. At no time was I asked about my relationship, my marriage, nor did I volunteer any information that I can truthfully say, Counselor Birkland was in full knowledge of and still is to my understanding. Incidentally, at the Denver meeting, Birkland had given my former partner and I a lovely picture of the Purest Branch that he signed with a very loving message to us as a gesture of love and tolerance… That photo graced my home altar for many years, even when we split up and went our separate ways; which I feel was partly, not entirely, due to the stress this religion caused our relationship. When in 1998, when I was in Brasil as a Fulbright Scholar, I met my husband Milton, who was able to come to California to earn a masters and a doctorate, and where we eventually married. During that time California passed first a domestic partnership law, and later a marriage law. We were both “domesticated” then married, which because Brasil recognizes gay weddings outside of the country, allows for me to immigrate to Brasil. In my enthusiasm over our wedding, I shared a video that my son (our best man) and his girlfriend produced of our wedding on the internet. Soon after, I received a letter from the NSA removing my rights, and accusing me of lying to them about my relationship in the most heinous and degrading of terms. Letters, videos all have been archived on my blog (see links below on revoked) for anyone to study, see, visit, comment and peruse, as I have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. We are a respected couple, both informally in the community we live in and professionally, we have been together 15 years now, we are both professors at the Universidade Federal de Ouro Preto, and known for our research in ethnomathematics and mathematical modeling. Recently, we have been asked, as a pair, to present work at the British Museum, yet the Baha’i Faith finds us unclean, unworthy, and does not want us, or friends or family in its ranks! I only share this, so that you can gain one more level of the darkness, hate, and absurdity that the homophobia this Faith allows and encourages. Currently, this religious community is so very sick, and it has effectively institutionalized its homophobia that continues to eat at it like a cancer. Because of this accepted hate, is chasing progressives of capacity away from it in droves. For every person it removes, it also disenfranchises hundreds that it needs as well. But in a weird way I am equally grateful to the Baha’is, as all of this set me on a new spiritual quest, it has caused me to question the very veracity of the Faith itself, and left me feeling that Baha’u’llah was a very great man, but to wonder about his claims, as the religion of His followers is constructing is apparently built on sand. This inability to deal effectively, lovingly, and honestly with gay & lesbian issues in a modern, loving and informed manner was the last straw… it was to me, and I can say to many others I know, the canary in the mineshaft. For my own sanity and spiritual health, I moved on. There is no refuge for me, or any gay man in the Baha’i Faith. I became a Buddhist, finding needed love and refuge in a sangha in Sacramento before leaving for Brasil. The Sacramento Buddhist Mediation Group (SBMG) incidentally meets in the very synagogue of the Rabbi I worked with years earlier! When I moved to South America a year ago, I mailed my entire Baha’i library to the LSA of Carmichael, my beloved greatest name woven by a group of non-Baha’i women in Guatemala that I assisted was sent to a Baha’i man that I brought into the Faith when I lived in Guatemala. The photo of the Purest Branch was returned to Counselor Birkland in Haifa, now a Universal House of Justice member. It is noteworthy that only Tim, the colleague I sent my Greatest Name acknowledged the gifts and that only in passing, as if none of them could deal honestly with what they are doing to GLBT people. Many of you have family members who are Baha’i. I was the only member in my extended family, I was alone, and I had no Baha’i support, ever. I taught the Faith, pioneered to Guatemala; home front pioneered, I did it all… alone, even my ex-wife refused to examine the Faith, and my straight son has rejected it outright for its homophobia. All the time withstood the prejudice from my family, and gladly did this for something I had thought was right, was good. But the Baha’is have shown my colleagues, friends, my husband and son, that I was the fool, that by their actions, there is nothing here, no hope, no refuge… that it may indeed be a cult as my parents still think, and that it was all perhaps at best, a very nice utopian dream.
So it is I humbly offer you a few questions for your consultation: 1. When so many of our friends, colleagues, family who are members in other religions, with equal if not similar teachings on homosexuality are brave and stand up, and demand inclusion, why are GLBT Baha’is so afraid, so dysfunctional, and so incapable of being out and proud in this religion? What is it about the Baha’i Faith that so effectively terrorizes its GLBT members so? That either drives them underground or away? 2. Why is it that this religion cannot find a decent way in which to love and embrace their GLBT brethren, as so many other religious communities have done? Why is it that GLBT people are allowed to be discriminated against? Why is it that homophobes are not sanctioned? 3. How is it that after so many years, the questions asked of the NSA by the GBF are left largely unanswered? 4. Why is it that the leadership of the Faith cannot see the damage they created to the image of the Faith in the eyes of the progressive community around them? 5. Why are progressive people of capacity – straight and gay – being chased out of this Faith? Could it be that this religion that once held so much promise for many of us that now seems by this very homophobia is bankrupt, and false? Again, it breaks my heart to even contemplate this. So I ask again, “Rabbi, what is better…?” All my respect, admiration, support, light and energy from Brasil!
I'm just going to give you one paragraph from Rolling Stone's excellent long-form piece on bullying and suicide in Michele Bachhmann's home district.
"This isn't something you kid about, Brittany," her mom scolded, snatching the kitchen cordless and taking it down the hall to call the Johnsons. A minute later she returned, her face a mask of shock and terror. "Honey, I'm so sorry. We're too late," she said tonelessly as Brittany's knees buckled; 13-year-old Sam had climbed into the bathtub after school and shot herself in the mouth with her own hunting rifle. No one at school had seen her suicide coming. No one saw the rest of them coming, either.
"I’m outraged that there are currently major candidates for President of the United States who are using homophobia to rally their base. I’m pissed off at my Republican family back in North Carolina, several of whom came to my wedding, but who went right back and are voting for homophobes and acting like it doesn’t matter. It does matter and it’s time for the queers in this country to start saying so to their families. I think we’ve all cut them too much slack for far too long." - Armistead Maupin, speaking to Britain's Pink News.
