Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8) When one says, "All those engaged in the pursuit of self-mortification have entered upon the wrong way," one thus disparages some. But when one says instead, "The pursuit of self-mortification is a state beset by suffering, and it is the wrong way," then one is not disparaging anyone but is simply stating the truth. (MN 139)

Reflection Certain words or phrases that appear harsh are simply part of the natural vocabulary of different social groups, and are not necessarily spoken harshly. But notice how certain ways of speaking are accompanied by a harsher mental state. Certain words bring with them a particular emotional tone, and this draws our mind into harsher places than necessary. Learning to see and avoid this can be helpful. Daily Practice In the example given in this passage, notice the difference between criticizing a person and criticizing the person’s behavior. When you disparage someone, you invite a defensive measure such as a counterattack; when you disparage their actions, you give the person room to distance themselves from their behavior. Try this for yourself. See if you can develop the habit of criticizing actions instead of people. It is not as harsh.  Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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