Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8) It is a mistake to return anger with anger. Not giving anger for anger, one wins a double victory. One behaves for the good of both oneself and the other person. Knowing well the other’s anger, be mindful and remain calm. In this way you are healing both yourself and the other person. (SN 11.14)

Reflection This call for calm in the face of anger is timeless—and timely. Anger can be an effective emotion, but it is also toxic. Not only can things escalate and get seriously out of hand when you return anger with anger, but cultivating anger has a corrosive effect on your own heart and mind. If you regard the angry person as caught up by a hostile force, you can feel compassion for them rather than anger. This contributes to healing both of you. Daily Practice Make a point of remaining calm when someone else is angry and see what it feels like. You may feel the impulse to get angry in return, but you can recognize that this is an impulse you can abandon when it arises. By not giving in to anger when it is provoked by others, you are not only protecting yourself from the harmful effects of the toxic emotion but also helping the other person, who often, like you, is a victim of anger. Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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