Response to a Post on BUD: I have some observations...

Response to a Post on BUD: 

I have some observations... 
 
I won’t apologize if my mixture seems a bit rich, or harsh to some here. The time for politeness is over. This need for Baha’is to be condescending or tell others to “firm up your covenant” and to constantly school us here over and over about the writings, that trust me we all went to first… is over. I have a reasonable expectation here to be treated just as fairly in a Baha’i community as I am in the real world. It astonishes me that Baha’is do not see this. 
 
There are GLBT people that have every right to be in this religion and expect that that this homophobia should stop. As for me, I have been misled, lied to by important people and institutions, spied upon, that if this had occurred in my professional life I could have sued and retired a very happy healthy and free man. I once let this happen in hopes that I could just hide under a rock, but they came after me anyway. 
 
In so doing, I have noticed a phenomenon when Baha’is encounter the GLBTs in their community; I am ashamed to say that once I was there as well. I wish I could write as well about these things as others here can and do, so please bear with me. There are stages… or Valleys if it were:
 
1. Throw the book at them. At this stage the well-meaning but very fanatical and conservative Baha’i throws every possible quote, paragraph, writing at the GLBT. They labor under the misbelief that if the GLBT just reads one more special paragraph or prayer they will be “cured” and that they will miraculously turn straight. That if you question anything your covenant thingy is infirm... 
 
2. Be kind but firm with them. Not sure to me if this is less or more harsh, this is where the Baha’is are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They pretend to be a friend, they may even treat GLBT colleagues at work “nicely”. But if you are a seeker or become a Baha’i they quickly, perhaps subtly, question your “firmness in the covenant” or even question why you are so angry? They will never include an actual GLBT Baha’i in the dialogue, just those that seek to cure us, thus making the Faith look absurd from the outside. And then when you stand up, and begin to publically ask questions they ask you why then are you a Baha’i? Or suggest that there is something amiss with your covenant thingy.... This is where they ask you if you don’t agree, with what they, the institutions or the writings have to say then why you are a Baha’i? 
 
All these groups are dishonest, inadequate, hostile and violent in their own way towards GLBT people – they will not include GLBT Bs in the dialogue, they will inform on you, they do not allow for you to express your anger or frustration, and eventually they show you the door if you do not agree with them. They will not change or open their hearts. They just judge. They kick you out, but expect you to reform, to change, to return to a community that will never ever accept you anyway now because it is mired in antiquated homophobia that the institutions allow and support.
 
On the other side there seems to be pattern I have seen as well… most GLBT Baha’is do some of this:
Many cower, are ashamed, try, try, try to live like the person in Number 1 above wishes us to do, they fail frequently and eventually leave the Faith. Others live double lives, they marry, and play dangerously on the side because they have been terrorized into thinking that if they must put on a show all is well, yet eventually they find it is impossible, or end of living double lives, and not really part of either world. They buy into the homosexuality is sickness, and remain sick. Because this is what the Faith calls - CURED! Others attempt to make sense of this, they come in contact with healthy outstanding GLBT members and friends of other religions that despite having practically the very same teachings and rules on homosexuality, have made an all-inclusive community anyway. They probably visit these communities with their friends and begin to see a different world, where GLBT people are welcomed and encouraged to become healthy, happy citizens. And in so doing begin to ask the Baha'is why we can't do this as well? Or, they disappear all together
So it is, after living years in Os States (I was born there, pioneered to Central America, went to grad school there, worked 22 yrs there, tried being married, have an amazing son, and gave countless hours of service before I was lied to and then shown the door after marrying the man of my life). Comparing homophobic Baha’i cultish response to GLBT people to how many other religious communities behave, causes me to ask WTH (heck or Hidalgo as someone said) Baha’i Faith is just that.Is this constant berating of GLBT Baha’is doing any of us any good? Is ignoring our pain and frustration doing anyone any good? Is this constant throwing the writings at each other doing any good? 
 
NO!
 
Is it including all of us in dialogue? Is it allowing all of us to be part of your community, in an open welcoming accepting manner? Or are we to continue this outdated, backward homophobic response and keep those terrible, sick weak in the covenant GLBT people out of our Feasts, Firesides, and communities? Sorry, but it really is time that all Baha’is grow a set, mature and realize that there are GLBT people everywhere, and we are not going away, and that we are not scary, immoral evil people, but can and should be included in all aspects of this messed up but beautiful religion. What possible harm would my happy, healthy family be to your nice little polite feast or fireside? So yeah, WTH BF?

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 19, 2014

Abandoning the Transactional Mindset

Even in close relationships, spending time with a friend, even while helping others or doing other good works, if your attention is on what you are feeling, on what you are getting out of it, then you see these relationships as transactions. Because your focus is on how you are feeling, consciously or unconsciously you are putting yourself first and others second. This approach disconnects you from life, from the totality of your world.

- Ken McLeod, "Forget Happiness"

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 20, 2014
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Via NO H8 Campaign / FB:

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 18, 2014

The Refuge of Sitting

When we read or hear about the benefits of meditation, it is tempting to dwell on the stories of wonderful outcomes instead of doing the work of actualizing these possibilities ourselves. There can be a big gap between what we have read about and what is actually happening. Sitting is a way of putting our bodies behind our aspirations.

- Narayan Liebenson Grady, “The Refuge of Sitting”

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Via JMG: NFL Survey: 86% Of Players Say They Are OK With Openly Gay Teammates

ESPN surveyed 51 active NFL players to ask them the four questions seen above. The NFL has about 1700 active players, so the sample is rather small.

Forty-four players said a teammate's sexual orientation didn't matter to them, and 39 said they would be comfortable showering around a gay teammate. But 32 players said they had teammates or coaches who used homophobic slurs last season, and when asked whether an openly gay player would be comfortable in a NFL locker room, just 25 players said yes; 21 said no, while five declined to answer. One concern for players appeared to be learning how they could relate to a teammate they knew was gay and whether they would need to behave any differently around him. According to one starting receiver, "Whoever takes [Michael Sam in the draft] should have an open talk at the beginning of camp, where everybody can ask what he's comfortable with, what offends him, what boundaries there should be. When it comes to race, people already know the boundaries, to a certain extent. But I don't think football players are overly familiar with what can and can't be said around a gay person."

Right wing sites are focusing on the 25% who say they wouldn't shower in the presence of a gay teammate. Of course.

 

Labels: coming out, ESPN, football, gay athletes, Michael Sam, NFL, sports, surveys

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 17, 2014

The Skill of Intention

It’s through our intentions that we shape the world we experience, along with the amount of pleasure or pain we take out of that experience. To formulate intentions that really do lead to happiness is a skill. And because it’s a skill, nobody else can master the skill for you; you can’t master the skill for anyone else.

- Thanissaro Bhikkhu, “Less is More”

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Via JMG:

President Obama today denounced Uganda's anti-homosexuality bill. "I am deeply disappointed that Uganda will shortly enact legislation that would criminalize homosexuality. The Anti-Homosexuality Bill in Uganda, once law, will be more than an affront and a danger to the gay community in Uganda. It will be a step backward for all Ugandans and reflect poorly on Uganda’s commitment to protecting the human rights of its people."

Full statement at JMG: http://bit.ly/1kM9tqs

 

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 16, 2014

Meditation and Poetry

Traditions of deliberate attention to consciousness, and of making poems, are as old as humankind. Meditation looks inward, poetry holds forth. One is private, the other is out in the world. One enters the moment, the other shares it. But in practice it is never entirely clear which is doing which. In any case, we do know that in spite of the contemporary public perception of meditation and poetry as special, exotic, and difficult, they are both as old and as common as grass. The one goes back to essential moments of stillness and deep inwardness, and the other to the fundamental impulse of expression and presentation.

- Gary Snyder, “Just One Breath”

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Via Daily Kos / FB:

Via SBMG Newsletter:

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
There is yet Faith but the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought.
So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing...
T.S. Elliot

Via JMG: Post-Windsor Court Record: 100%

Slate recaps the last eight months of marriage cases:

Twelve decisions have addressed a substantive aspect of marriage equality since Windsor, and equality has won in all 12—with the Virginia decision now joining decisions from Kentucky, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Utah, and West Virginia, and two decisions each in Illinois, New Jersey, and Ohio. But six other cases since Windsor have addressed different aspects of discrimination based on sexual orientation, such as discrimination on juries and employment benefits, and the side of equality has won in all six of those cases as well. The tally is even starker when you look at the number of judges who have considered the issue. Since Windsor, in these 18 decisions, 32 different judges have considered whether Windsor is merely about the relationship between the state and federal governments or whether it is about equality. And all 32 of them have found for equality. In other words, 32 accomplished, intelligent lawyers, appointed by Democrats and Republicans, whose job it is to read precedent, have ruled for equality. Not a single one has disagreed.

Labels: DOMA, Edith Windsor, marriage equality

Reposted from Joe Jervis

The New Us: Traverse -- #TheNew | Chevrolet

Thank you Chevy for being inclusive!

Via JMG: Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 15, 2014

The Desire for Certainty

Scientific fundamentalism mirrors religious fundamentalism in distressingly many ways. But there is no need for science to be fundamentalist any more than there is a need for religions to be fundamentalist. Fundamentalism springs from a desire for certainty, but many religious people and many scientists know that this cannot be achieved by beings with limited minds and experience such as ourselves.

- Rupert Sheldrake, "A Question of Faith"

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Via JMG: KANSAS: Senate Leaders Vow To Narrow Bill That Legalizes Anti-Gay Dicrimination

Two days ago the Kansas House approved a sweeping bill that legalizes discrimination against LGBT people in virtually every aspect of life. Today GOP state Senate president Susan Wagle promised to narrow the bill, presumably to businesses in the wedding industry.

For starters, a provision that would allow government employees to refuse service to same-sex couples on religious grounds is completely out. Senate President Susan Wagle, R-Wichita, was emphatically clear on that point. “Absolutely. I believe that when you hire police officers or a fireman that they have no choice in who they serve. They serve anyone who’s vulnerable, any age, any race, any sexual orientation,” Wagle said. When asked if this was also true for a government employee who issues dog licenses, Wagle responded simply. “Public service needs to remain public service for the entire public.” Wagle, who was joined by Senate Vice President Jeff King, R-Independence, and Senate Majority Leader Terry Bruce, R-Hutchinson, also cited concerns from the business community as part of their hesitation to move forward with House Bill 2453 in its current form. She said the bill, as written, would hurt large and small businesses alike.

A spokesman for Equality Kansas reacted to Wagle's statement: "The religious community needs to have their religious freedoms respected, but the gay community needs have our rights as citizens of the state of Kansas respected. We’re not going to support any bill that singles out gay or lesbian couples either directly or indirectly through legalese."  Republicans outnumber Democrats in the Kansas Senate by 31-9.
RELATED: Today Andrew Sullivan posted a blistering reaction to the bill. An excerpt:

If you were devising a strategy to make the Republicans look like the Bull Connors of our time, you just stumbled across a winner. If you wanted a strategy to define gay couples as victims and fundamentalist Christians as oppressors, you’ve hit the jackpot. In a period when public opinion has shifted decisively in favor of gay equality and dignity, Kansas and the GOP have decided to go in precisely the opposite direction. The week that the first openly gay potential NFL player came out, the GOP approved a bill that would prevent him from eating in restaurants in the state, if he ever mentioned his intention to marry or just shack up with his boyfriend. Really, Republicans? That’s the party you want? As for the allegedly Christian nature of this legislation, let’s not mince words. This is the inversion of Christianity.

Labels: bigotry, GOP, Kansas, LGBT rights

posted by Joe Jervis

Via JMG: UGANDA: President To Sign Bill That Sentences Gays To Life In Prison

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni says that he will sign the bill that calls for up to a life sentence for those convicted of homosexuality. Via Buzzfeed:

This is a reversal for Museveni, who had written to members of parliament after the legislation passed in December that he had come to believe that homosexuality was a biological “abnormality” and not something that should be criminalized. He had also told Western human rights activists that he would reject the bill during a meeting last month. Museveni made his announcement during a retreat with members of his party, the National Resistance Movement, which has primarily focused on the party’s leadership as it prepares for elections in 2016. Museveni had been facing stiff pressure from his colleagues to accept the bill.

According to Museveni, he only decided to sign the bill after scientists convinced him that homosexuality "is not genetic." For several years, Uganda's so-called "Kill The Gays" bill has been pending. Today's action presumably means the death penalty is finally off the table.

 

RELATED:  Museveni has been in office for 28 years and the vote results of his 2011 reelection were contested by the European Union.

Labels: Africa, homosexuality, LGBT rights, religion, Uganda

posted by Joe Jervis

Via JMG: White House: Thank You Edie Windsor

A message of thanks to DOMA champion Edith Windsor was posted today on the White House blog. The statement is attributed to White House Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett. An excerpt:

When the Court handed down its decision last June, President Obama called Edie from Air Force One to congratulate her on her victory. And earlier this week, the President invited Edie to the France State Dinner and the Oval Office to thank her in person. The thanks expressed by the President that day have been echoed by millions of Americans, including thousands of legally married couples who can now live their lives with greater justice and dignity – thanks to heroes like Edie Windsor who have been willing to stand up and fight for equality under the law.

Quite the lovely Valentine's Day timing. The photo is dated Wednesday, when Windsor was a guest at the White House state dinner honoring French President Francois Hollande, who guided his nation to marriage equality last May.
UPDATE: Windsor's DOMA attorney responds. 

Labels: Barack Obama, DOMA, Edith Windsor, heroes, LGBT History, marriage equality, White House

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via JMG: 20 Members Of Congress Pose For NOH8 Campaign In Solidarity With Russian Gays

In an event tagged #NOH8OnTheHill, twenty members of Congress have posed for the famed NOH8 campaign in a Valentine's Day message of solidarity to the LGBT people of Russia. The sole Republican participant was Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL), who has a transgender son.

"For our LGBT friends in Russia and in other countries around the world who feel oppressed by their government, we dedicate this Valentine's post to you. Today we show our gratitude for those in government who use their platform to speak out for the rights of all people," said NOH8 Co-Founders Adam Bouska & Jeff Parshley.
The fourth NOH8 On The Hill session was jointly hosted by Rep. Alan Lowenthal (D-CA) & Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL) on the House side, and Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) hosted on the Senate side. Rep. Ros-Lehtinen is the first and only Republican Congressman to pose for NOH8, while Senator Blumenthal was the first Senator to pose alongside Senator Martin Heinrich (D-NM).
The newest #NOH8onTheHill session saw five additional Senators pose, including Senator Brian Schatz of Hawaii. Coincidentally, this session was held on November 13th, 2013 -- the same day Hawaii's Governor signed marriage equality into law! Previous supporters Rep. Ros-Lehtinen and Rep. Al Green of Texas underscored their support by stopping in to pose for a photo once again, joined by Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-OH) and Rep. Mike Honda (D-CA).

Hit the link for all of the photos and messages of support from each participant.

 

Labels: Congress, Democrats, Ileana Ros Lehtinen, LGBT rights, NOH8, Russia, Valentine's Day

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Vua JMG: Chicago Researchers Say They Have Found Genetic Link To Homosexuality

Via the Guardian:

A study of gay men in the US has found fresh evidence that male sexual orientation is influenced by genes. Scientists tested the DNA of 400 gay men and found that genes on at least two chromosomes affected whether a man was gay or straight. A region of the X chromosome called Xq28 had some impact on men's sexual behaviour – though scientists have no idea which of the many genes in the region are involved, nor how many lie elsewhere in the genome. Another stretch of DNA on chromosome 8 also played a role in male sexual orientation – though again the precise mechanism is unclear. Researchers have speculated in the past that genes linked to homosexuality in men may have survived evolution because they happened to make women who carried them more fertile. This may be the case for genes in the Xq28 region, as the X chromosome is passed down to men exclusively from their mothers.

Via the Telegraph:

Dr Bailey said: “Sexual orientation has nothing to do with choice. Our findings suggest there may be genes at play – we found evidence for two sets that affect whether a man is gay or straight. “But it is not completely determinative; there are certainly other environmental factors involved. “The study shows that there are genes involved in male sexual orientation. “Although this could one day lead to a pre-natal test for male sexual orientation, it would not be very accurate, as there are other factors that can influence the outcome.” Dr Alan Sanders, associate Professor of Psychiatry at Northwestern University, who led the study said that it was it was an 'oversimplification’ to suggest there was a 'gay gene.’ “We don’t think genetics is the whole story. It’s not. We have a gene that contributes to homosexuality but you could say it is linked to heterosexuality. It is the variation.”

Labels: homosexuality, science, sexuality

Reposted from Joe Jervis

How The Supreme Court Lit A Fuse To End Gay Marriage Bans Across USA

AP Photo / Manuel Balce Ceneta

Sahil Kapur – February 13, 2014, 1:00 PM EST16978

 

Last summer, the Supreme Court handed down a landmark decision equalizing the treatment of all married couples under federal law. But it opted not to address the more fundamental question in a related case: whether gay and straight couples are entitled to equal protection on the state level, where marriage law is made.

That extraordinary dodge was seen by some experts as a disingenuous way of seeking a middle ground in the rulings on the Defense of Marriage Act and California's ban on same-sex marriage. Dissenting Justice Antonin Scalia fumed that it amounted to "legalistic argle-bargle." And it appears he had a point: a number of federal judges from Utah to Kentucky have concluded that the Supreme Court's legal reasoning does not leave substantial room for state-based discrimination against gay marriage.

Recently, federal judges in Utah and Oklahoma overturned the states' bans on gay marriage as unconstitutional, leading to chaos as gay marriage was briefly legal there before the states appealed the decisions and halted them. In Ohio, a federal judge ordered the state to recognize same-sex marriages on death certificates. And on Wednesday, a federal judge in Kentucky ordered the state to recognize out-of-state gay marriages.

"I think what's behind it all is that when you talk repeatedly in your [Supreme Court] opinion about the dignity of gay people in relationships, how do judges rule the other way?" Roberta Kaplan, the attorney who argued against DOMA before the Supreme Court, told TPM. "What possible reason could judges use for denying equality for gay people?"

In fact, the judges "explicitly say they're doing this because of Windsor," she said.

Read the full article here