Via Daily Dharma

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Hearing Silence | March 25, 2014

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Silence does not disappear when it is broken; for those who are not distracted, silence limns language as the necessary condition that exposes both its richness and its fragility. Silence is not just in the gaps and spaces that punctuate sentences but also within words as the lack that renders them fully articulate. To know what a person says, we must hear what remains unsaid. If we cannot hear silence, we do not know how to listen. 

 

—Mark C. Taylor, “Hearing Silence”

 

FIRST KISS (Gay Version from New Zealand)

Via JMG: NYT On The Decline Of "H" Word

The New York Times yesterday explored the vanishing use of the word "homosexual" by almost everybody except anti-gay groups.

Consider the following phrases: homosexual community, homosexual activist, homosexual marriage. Substitute the word “gay” in any of those cases, and the terms suddenly become far less loaded, so that the ring of disapproval and judgment evaporates. Some gay rights advocates have declared the term off limits. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, or Glaad, has put “homosexual” on its list of offensive terms and in 2006 persuaded The Associated Press, whose stylebook is the widely used by many news organizations, to restrict use of the word.
George P. Lakoff, a professor of cognitive science and linguistics at the University of California, Berkeley, has looked at the way the term is used by those who try to portray gays and lesbians as deviant. What is most telling about substituting it for gay or lesbian are the images that homosexual tends to activate in the brain, he said. “Gay doesn’t use the word sex,” he said. “Lesbian doesn’t use the word sex. Homosexual does.” “It also contains ‘homo,’ which is an old derogatory,” he added. “They want to have that idea there. They want to say this is not normal sex, this is not normal family, it’s going against God.”

Back in the 90s when some of our people began to reclaim "queer," I understood so many others in our community objected. The visceral unease that some experience when hearing or seeing the word "queer" - even in a benign, supportive or celebratory context - may never fade for those of us whose most vivid playground memories are the vicious-by-design games of "smear the queer." Still, I relished the fuck-you-ness of taking "queer" back and I defiantly wore my Queer Nation t-shirt until it disintegrated into gay-friendly cotton molecules.
Similarly, I do get why many consider "homosexual" to be cold, clinical, and reductive. But so too is "heterosexual" - and straight people certainly don't instinctively flinch at the term. For many people, the 20th century (ish) reappropriation of "gay" continues to carry an inherent, even subliminal, subtext of happiness - of a carefree life unburdened by shame or guilt or regret. And that's both wonderful and exactly why our enemies impotently flail against its usage. I don't disagree with those who complain that "homosexual" can be, often deliberately, a crude reduction of all-that-we-are to to merely who-puts-what-where.
But it cannot be denied that the epiphany that led us all here to take our first tentative steps on the yellow brick road was based in our acceptance that society's who-puts-what-where edict doesn't work for us. "Homosexual" may feel like a linguistic anachronism, but to my mind that word is merely the foundation upon which we build our culture. It's our starting point. I don't like giving the haters the satisfaction of watching us try to bury "homosexual." I wish we wouldn't do it.

Labels: hate groups, homosexual, language, LGBT culture, LGBT History, LGBT rights, religion

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Utne: Free Your Mind: Practice Vipassana Meditation

Free Your Mind: Practice Vipassana Meditation

Vipassana meditation is a widely used relaxation practice that can be done easily by beginners, with great results! 

After years of heavy addiction, Chris Grosso found himself literally on his knees, utterly lost and broken. Grasping for life, he needed to find a new path, one that went beyond conventional religious or spiritual doctrine—one free of bullshit. Indie Spiritualist (Beyond Words Publishing, 2014) empowers readers to accept themselves as they are, in all their humanity and imperfect perfection. In this excerpt learn the basics of vipassana meditation, a simple relaxation practice that can be done by anyone and in any setting.

 

Vipassana Meditation

Besides being asked, “What’s an Indie Spiritualist?” the second most common question I’m typically asked is “What type of meditation do you practice?”

While I personally practice many different types of medita­tion—never feeling like I have to stay within the confines of only one tradition—I typically respond with vipassana, as I’ve found it to be the most universally applicable form of meditation around. Any form of meditation that resonates with you—whether guided, man­tra, movement, and so forth—will definitely be of benefit.

I adore meditation because there are countless ways to meditate, with no particular style being any better than another. It’s all about what resonates with you. You can find many free guided medita­tions online by searching Google or YouTube, as well as by visiting your local library. Most meditation practices are to spirituality what Bob Ross was to painting—very laid back and go with the flow. And while your practice may not provide you with happy little trees, it will over time create a greater sense of peace, clarity, and serenity in your life, and that’s sorta like happy little trees, right?

Through years of drug addiction, I did considerable damage to myself, resulting in heavy bouts of depression and anxiety. For years, I relied on antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications to keep me in a somewhat balanced state, but after cultivating a dedicated meditation practice I eventually found myself at a place where, under doctor supervision, I was able to taper off the medication and no longer needed it.

Let me make it perfectly clear, however, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking prescribed medication for conditions like anxiety, depression, and so forth. I recognize that they were very nec­essary in my life at that time, as I was very chemically off-balance. There is nothing unspiritual about taking prescribed medication when needed, because our own mental and emotional well-being must come first before we can truly help others.

Whether we are on medication or not, meditation practices will certainly help us to not only cultivate more calm in our lives, but also to handle things like stress, anxiety, and depression in gentler ways. For the benefit of those who are new to meditation, I’m providing these simple guided instructions for the practice of vipassana.

Make the jump here to read the full article on Utne

Via Daily Dharma

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Real Intimacy | March 24, 2014

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There is no such thing as two people—whether baby and mother, two lovers, or teacher and student—being perfectly in sync with each other’s needs and wishes. Real intimacy arises from an ongoing process of connection that at some point is disrupted and then, ideally, repaired. 

 

—Pilar Jennings, “Looking into the Eyes of a Master”

 

Via Have A Gay Day / FB:

The Miracle of Anti-Gay Denial

Via Daily Dharma

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Good News | March 23, 2014

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To be able to suffer with is good news because it means you can share power with, share joy with, exchange love with. Let your pain tell you that you are not alone. What we thought might have been sealing us off can become connective tissue.

 

—Joanna Macy, “Schooling Our Intention”

 

Via Daily Dharma

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Two Different Ways Of Experiencing | March 22, 2014

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Nirvana is not another realm or dimension but rather the clarity and peace that arise when our mental turmoil ends, because the objects with which we have been identifying are realized to be shunya [empty]. Things have no reality of their own that we can cling to, since they arise and pass away according to conditions. Nor can we cling to this truth.

—David Loy, “The Second Buddha”

Via JMG: BREAKING: Michigan Judge Strikes Down Marriage Ban, It Is Unconstitutional

Via the Associated Press:

Michigan's ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional, a federal judge said Friday as he struck down a law that was widely embraced by voters a decade ago - the latest in a recent series of decisions overturning similar laws across the country. U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman announced his ruling after a rare two-week trial that mostly focused on the impact of same-sex parenting on children.

There was no indication that the judge was suspending his decision. Attorney General Bill Schuette said he was immediately filing a request with a federal appeals court to suspend Friedman's decision and prevent same-sex couples from immediately marrying. The decision was released shortly after 5 p.m., when most county clerk offices in Michigan were closed. Clerks issue marriage licenses.

Seventeen states and the District of Columbia issue licenses for same-sex marriage. Since December, bans on gay marriage have been overturned in Texas, Utah, Oklahoma and Virginia, but appeals have put those cases on hold.

UPDATE: Read the ruling here.

 

Labels: LGBT rights, marriage equality, Michigan

Reposted from Joe Jervis

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Rising to the Challenge | March 21, 2014

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People are afraid that if they let go of their anger and righteousness and wrath, and look at their own feelings—and even see the good in a bad person—they're going to lose the energy they need to do something about the problem. But actually you get more strength and energy by operating from a place of love and concern. You can be just as tough, but more effectively tough. 

 

—Robert Thurman, "Rising to the Challenge"

The Yogyakarta Principles

In 2006, in response to well-documented patterns of abuse, a distinguished group of international human rights experts met in Yogyakarta, Indonesia to outline a set of international principles relating to sexual orientation and gender identity. The result was the Yogyakarta Principles: a universal guide to human rights which affirm binding international legal standards with which all States must comply. They promise a different future where all people born free and equal in dignity and rights can fulfil that precious birthright.

The Principles are presented here in all six United Nations languages.

Via Daily Kos / FB:

Via JMG: Judy Shepard On Death Of Fred Phelps

"Regarding the passing of Fred Phelps, Dennis and I know how solemn these moments are for anyone who loses a loved one. Out of respect for all people and our desire to erase hate, we’ve decided not to comment further." - Judy Shepard, in a posting on the Facebook page of the Matthew Shepard Foundation. (Tipped by JMG reader Eric)

Labels: Fred Phelps, hate groups, Judy Shepard, Westboro

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via JMG: Westboro Founder Fred Phelps Has Died

 

Kansas television station KSN reports that Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps has died.

The Rev. Fred Phelps Sr., who founded a Kansas church widely known for its protests at military funerals and anti-gay sentiments, has died according to his son Tim Phelps. Phelps, 84, was being cared for in a Shawnee County facility, Westboro Baptist Church spokesman Steve Drain said Sunday. Members of the Westboro church, based in Topeka, frequently protest at funerals of soldiers with signs containing messages such as “Thank God for dead soldiers,” and “Thank God for 9/11,” claiming the deaths are God’s punishment for American immorality and tolerance of homosexuality and abortion.

Updates to follow shortly. (Tipped by JMG reader TJ)

 

Labels: Fred Phelps, hate groups, obituary, religion, Westboro

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Daily Dharma

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Bursting the Bubble of Fear | March 20, 2014

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To willingly reside in our distress, no longer resisting what is, is the real key to transformation. As painful as it may be to face our deepest fears, we do reach the point where it's more painful not to face them. This is a pivotal point in the practice life. 

 

—Ezra Bayda, “Bursting the Bubble of Fear”

Via JMG: Oregon AG Files Brief: Ban Serves No Rational Purpose And Harms Citizens

 

Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum tonight filed a response brief in the same-sex marriage case, declaring, "The state defendants in this case recognize that the ban on same-sex marriage serves no rational purpose and harms Oregon citizens. This case presents that rare case in which there simply is no legal argument to be made in support of a state law." Last month Rosenblum announced that she would not defend the lawsuit.

Oregon United For Marriage reacts via press release: "We are literally counting down the days until all loving and committed couples in Oregon have the freedom to marry, and we are thrilled that the attorney general is on the right side of history. No one should be told it is illegal to marry the person they love. Freedom means freedom for everyone."

Later in the brief, Rosenblum says this: "Other state attorneys general and governors have reached similar conclusions about the defensibility of state laws, and responded by simply declining to appear in defense or withdrawing and joining forces with those challenging the laws. The Oregon state defendants believe it is more appropriate to remain as parties to this litigation to ensure that this Court has the benefit of the careful legal analysis that the state defendants have undertaken."

The lawsuit was filed in October 2013 by local attorneys on behalf of one unmarried Oregon couple and another couple who married in Canada. The suit is separate from the petition drive to place a repeal of the marriage ban on the ballot. That campaign has been put on hold pending the ruling in the lawsuit. Oral arguments in the lawsuit are scheduled for April 23rd.

Read today's brief in full at my Scribd account.

Labels: Ellen Rosenblum, lawsuits, marriage equality, Oregon

Reposted from Joe Jervis

America's Right-Wing Has Gone Gay Crazy

Sharon Caminneci

www.alternet.org 

The madness has spread from the Christian Right’s talking heads to the leading lights of the Republican Party.

Via http://purpleunions.com: USA, Oregon: AG Says Marriage Equality Ban Unconstitutional, State Ready to Marry Same Sex Couples

In a strongly-worded 35 page brief, Oregon Attorney general Ellen Rosenblum indicated the state is ready for marriage equality.

Edge Boston reports:

Oregon’s attorney general told a federal court Tuesday why she believes the state’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriages violates the federal constitutional rights of homosexual couples. Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum added that Oregon is prepared to implement gay marriages if a federal judge strikes down the ban. Rosenblum announced last month that she would not defend the state’s same-sex marriage ban in court…. Allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry is not a redefinition of marriage, the attorney general wrote. Instead, she said the plaintiffs in this case “seek the same right to marry that the state offers opposite-sex couples and not a right to any newly invented form of marriage.”

Oral arguments in the case are due in mid-April, so we could have a ruling by May

Find more articles and gay wedding resources in Oregon.