Via White Crane Institute // 15 Things To Give Up To Be Happy

 

Today's Gay Wisdom

2018 -

TODAY'S GAY WISDOM

 GIVE UP!

 15 Things To Give Up To Be Happy

1. Give up the need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up the need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up limiting beliefs

…about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

 Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up the need to impress others

 Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at it with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute

"With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson

Exploring Gay Wisdom & Culture since 1989!
www.whitecraneinstitute.org

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Via NPR

Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Mindfulness and Concentration: Establishing Mindfulness of Mental Objects and the Fourth Jhāna

 

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RIGHT MINDFULNESS Establishing Mindfulness of Mental Objects A person goes to the forest or to the root of a tree or to an empty place and sits down. Having crossed the legs, one sets the body erect. One establishes the presence of mindfulness. (MN 10) One is aware: “Ardent, fully aware, mindful, I am content.” (SN 47.10)   When the mindfulness awakening factor is internally present, one is aware: “Mindfulness is present for me.” When mindfulness is not present, one is aware: “Mindfulness is not present for me.” When the arising of unarisen mindfulness occurs, one  is aware of that. And when the development and fulfillment of the arisen mindfulness awakening factor occurs, one is aware of that . . . One is just aware, just mindful: “There is a mental object.” And one abides not clinging to anything in the world. (MN 10)

Reflection Mindfulness is a mental state that comes and goes, like all mental states. Sometimes it arises and passes away on its own, and sometimes you “establish its presence” by putting forth energy with an intentional act of will. As your experience and skill in meditation increases, you will find it easier to arouse mindfulness, will it more often, and will find that it remains established for longer periods of time.  Daily Practice The easiest way to notice the presence of mindfulness is in that instant when you become mindful after not being mindful. When mindfulness is established in your mind after being absent the moment before, you can best discern its texture and quality. That is harder to notice when mindfulness has slipped away. Practice noticing when your mind is wandering and gently guide it back to the breath.  RIGHT CONCENTRATION Approaching and Abiding in the Fourth Phase of Absorption (4th Jhāna) With the abandoning of pleasure and pain, and with the previous disappearance of joy and grief, one enters upon and abides in the fourth phase of absorption, which has neither-pain-nor-pleasure, and purity of mindfulness due to equanimity. The concentrated mind is thus purified, bright, unblemished, rid of imperfection, malleable, wieldy, steady, and attained to imperturbability. (MN 4) Reflection This state of mind is the culmination of the four stages of absorption and represents the consummation of the meditative enterprise of focused, one-pointed awareness. With the mind thus purified of its imperfections it is capable of seeing clearly, and by becoming "malleable" and "wieldy" it can be used as a tool to penetrate the many distortions and delusions that normally prevent us from understanding the true nature of things. Daily Practice Allow your Sunday sitting meditation to slowly and gently mellow into a profound state of equanimity. The mind is steady and bright but also imperturbable in the sense that there is nothing in your inner or outer experience that is going to evoke an episode of yearning or aversion. Equanimity is balance, an evenly hovering attention. Notice also in this passage that equanimity is said to be the means of purifying mindfulness. Tomorrow: Understanding the Noble Truth of Suffering One week from today: Establishing Mindfulness of Body and Abiding in the First Jhāna Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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Via Daily Dharma: Joy Is Our Gift

We have a very strong tendency to view joy as something that either happens to us by chance in lucky moments or as something that we have to deserve, that we get as the fruit, the reward, of good behavior or skillful cultivation. We can reframe that to think of joy as something we can offer as a gift to the world, offer as a gift through our lives.

Jaya Rudgard, “The Seven Factors of Awakening”

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Via White Crane Institute // This Day in Gay History

 

This Day in Gay History

May 14 Born Magnus Hirschfeld 1868 - The great German physician, sexologist, and Gay Rights advocate MAGNUS HIRSHFELD was both born and died on this day (1868-1935). Known as "the Einstein of Sex" he is credited with developing the theory of a third, "intermediate sex" between men and women. In 1897, Hirschfeld founded the Scientific Humanitarian Committee, which gathered over 5000 signatures from prominent Germans for a petition to overturn Paragraph 175, the section of the German penal code that criminalized homosexuality (founded on this date as well -- see below). In 1921 He organized the First Congress for Sexual Reform, which led to the formation of the World League for Sexual Reform. Hirschfeld co-wrote and acted in the 1919 film "Anders als die Andern" ("Different From the Others"), which featured the first homosexual character ever written for cinema. It was released a few years ago on DVD and still offers a fascinating view from the time. He also founded the Institute for Sexual Research which featured an immense library on sex and provided educational services and medical consultations. The writers Christopher Isherwood & W.H. Auden both visited the institute while in Germany. When the Nazis took power, one of their first actions was to destroy the Institute and burn the library. At that time Hirschfeld was away from Germany on a speaking tour. He died in Nice on his 67th birthday in 1935, while in exile from his native Germany in Nice, France. The word "transsexual" was coined by Dr. Hirschfeld to describe the phenomenon that he argued was a natural extension of human sexuality. His philosophy centered on the contention that there was a third sex, called the Uranian, which was neither male nor female, but a combination of both that was manifested in homosexuality, which was not to be considered an impure deviation, or even as an illness, but as a natural and phenomenal component of human nature. For his work, the Nazis targeted Dr. Hirschfeld as an example of Jewish influence infecting the purity of the German people, luring the Aryan race into impure and destructive perversity. He was ultimately driven into exile and burned in effigy as an emblem of evil. The slogan with which he began his speeches, "Uranians of the World, Unite!" was not to be realized until our own time.   Noteworthy The Scientific-Humanitarian Committee (Wissenschaftlich-humanitäres Komitee, WhK) 1897 - The Scientific-Humanitarian Committee (Wissenschaftlich-humanitäres Komitee, WhK) was founded in Berlin on the 14th or 15th of May, 1897, to campaign for social recognition of homosexual and transgender men and women, and against their legal persecution. It was the first such organization in history. It produced the Jahrbuch für sexuelle Zwischenstufen (Yearbook for Intermediate Sexual Types). This, as well as reporting the committee's activities, carried articles of scientific, polemical and literary natures. It was publish regularly from 1899 to 1923 (sometimes even quarterly) and more sporadically until 1933. The initial focus of the WhK was Paragraph 175 of the Imperial Penal Code, which criminalized "coitus-like" acts between males — the WhK assisted defendants in criminal trials, conducted public lectures, and gathered signatures on a petition for the repeal of the law. Signatories included Albert Einstein, Hermann Hesse, Thomas Mann, Rainer Maria Rilke, and Leo Tolstoy. Petitions were submitted to parliament, in 1898, 1922 and 1925, but failed to gain the support of the parliament, and the law continued to criminalize all male-male sexual acts until 1969 and wasn't entirely removed until 1994. Original members of the WhK included physician Magnus Hirschfeld, publisher Max Spohr, lawyer Eduard Oberg and writer Max von Bülow. Adolf Brand, Benedict Friedländer, and Kurt Hiller also joined the organization. In 1929, Hiller took over as chairman of the group from Hirschfeld. At its peak, the WhK had about 500 members and branches in approximately 25 cities in Germany, Austria and the Netherlands. The committee was dissolved in 1933 when the Nazis destroyed the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft in Berlin where the WhK was based. The Equality Act of 1974 1974 - On this date the first federal Gay Rights bill is introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives. The Equality Act of 1974, would have amended the 1964 Civil Rights Act, by adding "sexual orientation, to the list of protected from discrimination. Gay people in the United States are STILL waiting for these protections even though most Americans still believe we are covered. 1981 - The Reagan administration cancels the White House subscription to The Advocate. |8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8| Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute "With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson Exploring Gay Wisdom & Culture since 1989! www.whitecraneinstitute.org |8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|O|8|

Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation // Words of Wisdom - May 14, 2023 💌

 
 

"To be free, it's not enough to have tasted emptiness; we have to reintegrate that, so our every act is empty yet compassionate."

 

- Ram Dass -

Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Effort: Maintaining Arisen Healthy States

 

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RIGHT EFFORT Maintaining Arisen Healthy States Whatever a person frequently thinks about and ponders, that will  become the inclination of their mind. If one frequently thinks about and ponders healthy states, one has abandoned unhealthy states to cultivate healthy states, and then one’s mind inclines to healthy states. (MN 19) Here a person rouses the will, makes an effort, stirs up energy, exerts the mind, and strives to maintain arisen healthy mental states. One maintains the arisen equanimity awakening factor. (MN 141)

Reflection When you consistently cultivate healthy mental and emotional states your mind and heart become increasingly healthy. You do this partly by abandoning the states that are not healthy as they come up and partly by protecting and maintaining the healthy states that arise. When you feel generous, be more generous. When you are kind, become even kinder. When you care for someone, protect that caring intention. Daily Practice Equanimity is the culminating factor of the seven factors of awakening, the state to which the development of all the others leads. Whenever you notice you are highly attentive to something but are not caught in attaching to it if it's pleasurable or resisting it if it's painful, you have discovered a moment of equanimity. Feel what that is like and try to maintain that state in the ensuing mind moments.  Tomorrow: Establishing Mindfulness of Mental Objects and the Fourth Jhāna One week from today: Restraining Unarisen Unhealthy States Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

Tricycle is a nonprofit and relies on your support to keep its wheels turning. Donate »

© 2023 Tricycle Foundation 89 5th Ave, New York, NY 10003