February 6
If someone is not feeling comfortable with the gay community, they are not feeling comfortable with themselves. – Michel Roux
It is important to challenge those who attack our community. They lie about us, deal in false generalizations and try to trivialize the integrity of our struggle. Those who attack or condemn gay people usually are trying to compensate for their own lack of self-esteem. They need a scapegoat in order to feel better about themselves.
The noted therapist John Bradshaw states that people attracted to extreme fundamentalism have a need to control everyone and everything. He characterizes adherence to that type of religion as a form of addiction. The men and women who are most virulently homophobic are those who are uncomfortable with sexuality and insecure about their sexual identity. They project their unhealthy attitude onto gays and anyone else who does not conform to their standard.
Sometimes gay men also make generalizations about the community that reveal residual self-hate. Our community needs healthy self-criticism, but unless we temper this criticism with love and tolerance, we fall into the same trap of our enemies. Today, as sober people, let us think of ways we can be a positive force in the gay community.
Today I choose to be loving.
Found in: Milton, A. (1995). Lavender Light: Daily Meditations for Gay Men in Recovery. NY: Perigree.
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