We seek the Lord's word on armed revolution, as revealed in this reading from The Book of the Persistently Dead.
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And Jesus did arrive in the town of Gefilta and was greeted there by the village elders, who had dragged the stinking carcasses of their dead to the village square in order that the Lord might finally adjudicate them.
"Are you the King of our Shoes?", asked one of the elders.
And Jesus, sensing that what was actually meant was "of the Jews," sidestepped the question and answered instead:
"In my Father's house there are many rooms, but no man who advocates armed revolution against Democrats shall inhabit them."
And the people, not understanding "Democrats," took it to be a sign that it was time to air out the chickens and prepare the Sabbath meal.
So it is written: "He came to us a beggar and left a righteous man. In peace will his kingdom flourish and in garbage will his teabaggers flounder."
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This is the word of The Flying and Bleached-Red-Head Monster, who makes all things tax-exempt.
Amen.
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