Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Malicious Speech

 

RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Malicious Speech

Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8) When others address you, their speech may be gentle or harsh … One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words; I shall abide with compassion for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)

Reflection

Our natural tendency is to soften to gentle words and retaliate against harsh speech. But the former can allow us to be exploited by the flatterer, and the latter allows the worst in others to bring out the worst in us. Equanimity in the face of harsh speech is not indifference or detachment; it is simply being aware without reactivity. It is not allowing our minds to be thrown off by what others say to us.

Daily Practice

This is a challenging practice, but a helpful one. It encourages us to maintain a balanced state of mind in the face of any kind of speech. It may be easier to practice this at first with overhearing things in the media or the conversations of others, working up to being able to wish for the welfare of even those who speak harshly directly to you. It is not as hard as it sounds once you learn not to take everything others say personally.

Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action
One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech

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