Today´s practice, involved a bit of metta-ing about as it were. And just letting the mind go for a bit… nonjudgment, enjoying the path we went down… I accessed my InsightTimer app, and it sounded the bell, and I was off to what I call the races… mind races… that is.
Breathe in, breathe out…
I began, during my sit, by counting breaths, 1-10, start over... and then for some reason wandered to the Bahá’í Prayer: The Remover of Difficulties. Which I hadn’t thought of for years…
Hey old friend, long time no see...
Breathe in, breathe out…
The Remover of Difficulties sustained me during what I call the “the troubles”… coming out, divorce, a baby son, grad school, Ph.D. research and defense… I used to just walk about, repeating it over and over… vacillating from crazy to OK to survival. I couldn’t deal with much, it felt like I was just hanging on by my fingernails, until I found a good bunch of Gay Zen Buddhists and a professor who mentored me through the bottoming out (pardon the metaphor). Zen guys became mentors, not unlike uncles, and really helped me steer out of the darkness and confusion I felt myself in.
Many Bahá’ís might use it as a sort of mantra… sometimes repeating it hundreds of times… Helen Bishop taught me to mantra it, using my knuckles… 45 times up, 45 times back. She knew she was dealing with a young man with a touch of ADD.
Breathe in, breathe out…
And then I said to myself "Self, how about, one more Remover of Difficulties just for old times sake?" And suddenly I was reminded of Melvin´s practice, that I archived on my virtual altar site:
Melvin takes his version of metta and moves through the pronouns… I have adapted to do a “I, you, “that person”, “them” all beings… sort of wheel of concentration.
Breathe in, breathe out…
So I said to myself, “Self, try it with our old friend, the Remover of Difficulties…" I mean what could happen, no one is watching...
So, I began...
Is there any remover of difficulties save God? Say praised be God! He is God! All are his servants, and all abide by His bidding.
I did a second pass, this time:
Is there any remover of difficulties save God? Say praised be God! SHE is God! All are HER servants, and all abide by HER bidding.
Hmmm… that was fun… the gender thing about English and monotheism has bothered me for a while. So, I wondered, h’bout this, and I tried:
Is there any remover of difficulties save God? Say praised be God! YOU are God! All are YOUR servants, and all abide by Your bidding.
Then…
Is there any remover of difficulties save God? Say praised be God! All Beings are God! All are THEIR servants, and all abide by THEIR bidding.
Breathe in, breathe out…
Then the bell rang, and I dropped back to chair. And it was over.
As I write the music I am playing here, talked about a Franciscan prayer, I believe it goes something like this:
Oh my god
You are here
Oh my god
I am here
Oh my god
we are here
And always, always, always, you love us!
Be well, be safe…now, here.
No comments:
Post a Comment