Via FB \\ Thomas Gibble - My Thought for Today

My Thought for Today (LGBT Warning!)

I sometimes wonder if we have forgotten how hard-won acceptance really is.

I grew up in a time when being gay wasn’t a matter of announcing your pronouns or expecting the world to affirm your identity. For many of us, it was simply about survival.

I was once beaten up in an alley because someone perceived me as gay. I lived through a time when “coming out” could mean losing your family, your friends, your job, your church, or your place in the community.

We didn’t expect society to change overnight. We worked really hard for it. We came out. We told our stories. We educated people who had never knowingly met a gay person. We marched. We organized. We endured ridicule, rejection, violence, and, during the AIDS crisis, the loss of far too many of our friends.

And then we did it all over again. Often with grace.

Slowly—painfully—people began to understand.

And eventually, the public came around. Well, at least many of them.

That’s why I sometimes struggle with the expectation that everyone must immediately understand and embrace every new identity, every new term, and every new set of pronouns—or risk being labeled hateful or bigoted.

Let me be clear: I believe every person deserves dignity, safety, and basic human respect. No one should be bullied or mistreated because of who they are.

But I also believe that acceptance is something you build. It takes time. It takes patience. It’s not something you can simply demand.

The gay and lesbian movement spent decades building bridges to a society that didn’t want us or understand us. We didn’t win people over by insisting that they instantly understand everything about us. We invited them into the conversation. We showed them who we were. We gave them time to catch up.

Perhaps that’s the part I wish we remembered.

The generations coming after us are standing on ground that was fought for by me, my generation, and the people who came before us. That’s a wonderful thing. It’s what progress is supposed to accomplish.

But inherited progress can sometimes make the struggle that created it invisible.

Do I need to say that again?

So here’s my thought: Maybe we need a little less outrage and a little more patience. A little less “You must accept me right now” and a little more “Let me help you understand.”

Because I know what it’s like to be told that I didn’t belong.

And I also know that the most powerful way to change someone’s mind isn’t to demand that they change it.

It’s to give them a reason to.